Last year, my 38th, slipped by without an ask. So this year, I have two.

The 38th ask: a mend

Inspired by kintsugi, the Japanese craft of mending broken pottery with gold. Show me something you broke or wore through, repaired, and love more for the damage.

The cracked mug glued back together. The jacket with the patch. Send a photo and a line: how it broke, how you fixed it. I’ll gather them into a small gallery of second lives.

The 39th ask: a word you carry

Tell me a word or short phrase you’ve carried for years and can’t put down. It can be in any language. Maybe it is a family saying. A line from a book or a grandparent. An untranslatable word that doesn’t have a parallel in English. Send the words, and where they came from, and I’ll compile into a shared phrasebook.

How to send

Reply by email with both. A photo of your mend, a word you carry. Late arrivals are, this year especially, entirely in keeping with the spirit.

Some things grow more valuable as they break. That which we choose to carry says a lot about who we are. A mend and a word. A sentence is plenty for each. Thank you in advance, I can’t wait to see what you’ve broken and mended, and what you carry.

Previous Years

Curious about previous years?

• 25 stories
• 26 anonymous love letters
• 27 birthday photographs
• 28 hand written notes
• 29 essays about finding the fun in others
• 30 songs for 30 years
• 31 unpublished family recipes (you actually make)
• 32 Paths: trails, hikes, directions to travel
• 33 how-to tutorial videos
• 34 pins on a map
• 35 audio recordings
• 36 pieces of advice
• 37 questions

This year, I’m turning 37. I’m drawn to the idea of deepening connections and exploring the vulnerability that comes with truly getting to know someone.

Inspired by the famed “36 Questions That Lead to Love” by psychologist Arthur Aron, this year I am asking for: a question that fosters closeness.

For my 37th birthday (June 5th), I’d love for you to share a question inspired by this list. What question would you ask me – or someone you care about – to deepen your connection?

You can riff on one of the existing questions, or come up with your own entirely. The most important thing is that your question encourages meaningful reflection and sharing.

A Bonus Round of Sharing

If you’re feeling extra generous, I’d love to hear your answer to one of the questions from the list! Choose whichever question resonates with you most, and share your response. It could be your own, or a different one altogether.

Curiosity, aka Why This Matters

I believe that the right questions have the power to unlock deeper understanding and connection. By sharing a question that’s meaningful to you, you’re contributing to a collection of conversational sparks that can ignite meaningful dialogue and bring people closer.

You can email it to me.

Previous Birthdays

My goal is to collect at least one for every year I have lived, this year that would be 37. If you are curious about previous years, check them out below:

• 36 Pieces of Advice (Good or Bad) for my 36th Birthday
• 35 🎙️🔴 Audio Recordings for my 35th Birthday
• 34 📍 Pins on a Map for my 34th Birthday
• 33 DIY How To’s for my 33rd Birthday
• 32 Paths (trails, hikes, directions to travel from basecamp)
• 31 Recipes You Make (ask me if you’d like to see some)
• 30 Songs That Intersect Us
• 29 Essays on Finding the Fun in Others
• 28 Handwritten Notes
• 27 Birthday Pictures
• 26 Love Letters
• 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age
• Always: Doodles

I am turning 36. I am thinking about my 2023 New Year’s theme¹: Arrivals

2023 is a year of Arrivals. New year, new you, you know?

When you arrive somewhere, into a new city, a new job, a new mindset, people often have advice for you. Some of it is good, some of it less so. Some is immediately applicable and some of it you will only really appreciate years down the road.

Arriving means reaching a place at the end of a journey. But, often, the arrival is just the beginning of the next stage in a journey. This reflection leads me to my request for my 36th birthday. So, what’s your best (or worst) piece of advice?

For my 36th birthday (June 5th), please share a piece of advice, good or bad.

It might be a great piece of advice that you’ve been given that has led you through the world. It might be a piece of bad advice that you got years ago and is still rattling around in your mind.

If you are in need of inspiration, I’d strongly recommend taking a minute to read Mary Schmich’s 1997 Chicago Tribune column: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young, which was quickly remixed by Baz Luhrmann in the song Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen), or colloquially The Sunscreen Song.

Submission

Please send me a piece of good, or bad, advice. If you’d like, please share a little bit about why you chose this piece of advice to share, I’d love to collect all of these pieces of advice together to stitch them into a Top Tip Tapestry.

You can email it to me, or post it and share on Twitter.

Previous Birthdays

As with each year prior, the goal is to collect one for every year I have lived, this year that would be 36.

Over the past years I have asked for some interesting collective creation gifts for my birthday:

• 35 🎙️🔴 Audio Recordings for my 35th Birthday
• 34 📍 Pins on a Map for my 34th Birthday
• 33 DIY How To’s for my 33rd Birthday
• 32 Paths (trails, hikes, directions to travel from basecamp)
• 31 Recipes You Make (ask me if you’d like to see some)
• 30 Songs That Intersect Us
• 29 Essays on Finding the Fun in Others
• 28 Handwritten Notes
• 27 Birthday Pictures
• 26 Love Letters
• 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age
• Always: Doodles

This week, I turn 35. I have been thinking deeply about my 2022 New Year’s theme of stability under pressure (p.s. try themes instead of resolutions). Every year I define a thematic resolution to colour the year. It is through this thematic lens that I look at events of the year.

The transition from 2021 to 2022 has been one of significant pressure. Both in the world generally, and for me personally. The thing about pressure is that we each experience it in different ways. Some act well under pressure, with the rush of adrenaline comes a calmness. Others, less so.

The theme of “stability under pressure” came up during a physiotherapy appointment near the end of last year. Did you know that joints can be more stable under load? It’s like how bicycles can be more balanced when moving.

Being aware of what brings us stability means being open and perceptive. It means listening to the sound waves around us. Science trivia: what type of waves are sound waves?

Awareness also means listening to what is happening both around us and within. This reflection leads me to my request for my 35th birthday.

What sounds do you hear around you?

For my 35th birthday (June 5th), please share an 🎙️🔴 audio recording capturing some of your acoustic soundscape.

Submission

Please send me an audio recording and describe why you captured that bit of audio. I’d love to collect all of these audio clips, and stitch them together to create a birthday soundtrack.

You can email the recording to me privately, or post it up online and send me the link on Twitter.

There are so many things that you might hear around you. You could say something in the recording, or capture the sounds of the people or animals around you. I am so curious and excited to live vicariously by exploring these various soundscapes and the memories they conjure.

If you are thinking to yourself, “how the heck do I send Kory an audio recording?” Reach out and I would be happy to walk you through it with a little hands-on interactive tutorial.

Here is Neal Augenstein from WTOP News with a short tutorial video (which you know I love) to help show you how:

Previous Birthdays

As with each year prior, the goal is to collect one for every year I have lived, this year that would be 35.

Over the past years I have asked for some interesting collective creation gifts for my birthday:

• 34 📍 Pins on a Map for my 34th Birthday
• 33 DIY How To’s for my 33rd Birthday
• 32 Paths (trails, hikes, directions to travel from basecamp)
• 31 Recipes You Make (ask me if you’d like to see some)
• 30 Songs That Intersect Us
• 29 Essays on Finding the Fun in Others
• 28 Handwritten Notes
• 27 Birthday Pictures
• 26 Love Letters
• 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age
• and of course… Doodles

A floating globe with pins. A floating globe with 93 pins spread across the globe.

Thank you for sending me the gift of a pin and a story for my birthday! I am amazed at the diversity of locations, sentiments, and anecdotes. I hoped to receive 34 pins. In total, I received 93 😮 (and two promissory notes).

I love how certain places on the planet mean so much to so many different people. Living through these moments and memories was such a gift this year, thank you!

While I won’t describe or share every pin, here are some highlights that stood out:

• Most folks sent a single pin, most also sent some details on why the place was special.
• Some sent 2 points, one person submitted 8 places — wanderluster!
• Some didn’t even share a single place, but shared a memory of a place long forgotten or random moment.
• Some shared happy memories and some shared sad memories.
• Some shared eulogies and some shared places that they have said goodbye to; never to go back again.
• Some sent pins of places that they escaped to. Some places were places they escaped from.
• Some were places “that no one else is likely to mention … " and others were the most popular places on the planet.
• Some were countries, some were cities, some were intersections of roads or rivers or railroad tracks.
• Some sent pins of places that are halfway in between me and them, and others from where we last spent time together.
• I received places where people become the people they are, or they left their old selves behind and places that people lived and places people longed for.
• I received places they spent most of their lives and some sent pins of places that they have never been.
• Some sent places where they said goodbye to someone they would never see again, or said hello to someone that they would spend the rest of their lives with.
• I received several pin-hunts (sequences of clues for me to follow to find the pin, I loved these).
• I also received pins in the post, over the phone, text message, in audio, video and email. Some even sent theirs over Twitter.

One thing that I love is how these pins started to cluster (two folks actually sent me to the same place, for wildly different reasons). These clusters spatially arranged people in my life that I would never have expected to be connected. But they are, through geography, and in a very disconnected way, through me.

I added many beautiful places to my bucket list. Thank you again, and here’s to next year!

Background

This week, I turn 34. I have been thinking deeply about my 2021 theme of cause and effect. Every year I define a thematic resolution. It is through this lens that I look at events of the year.

It is through our actions that we change (or at least attempt to change) our world. Causation is the invisible link between one event and another. We try to understand causal links. We try to predict what will happen if we take one action or another.

Often, moments when we remember our choices most saliently happen in special locations. With our brains full of grid cells and place cells, we connect memories to spaces both physical and geographic.

So, as I recently walked on the well worn paths around Mont-Saint-Hilaire to the Gault Nature Reserve, I reflected on many of my special locations past. This reflection leads me to my request for my 34th birthday.

What causes you to remember a place?

For my 34th birthday (June 5th), please share a 📍 pin on a map marking a special location in the world.

Submission

Please send me a description of a special location and describe what causes you to remember the place. I’d love to collect all of these 📍 on a 🗺️.

You can email the location to me privately, or post it up online and send me the link on Twitter.

There are so many places that might spark to mind when you read this request. It might be a specific beach, a tall building, a vast landscape in a distant country. I am so curious and excited to live vicariously by exploring these various locations and the memories they conjure.

If you are thinking to yourself: “What is the difference between longitude and latitude?Latitude sounds like ladder, ladder-tude, and ladders rungs are horizontal… so, now you won’t forget that. Or, how the heck do I send Kory a pin on a map?” Reach out and I would be happy to walk you through it with a little hands-on interactive tutorial.

Here are some short instructions that might help:

1. On your computer, open Google Maps.
2. Search for the place you want to share.
3. Select the share icon (see the example over there ➡️).
4. Copy and paste the link to the 📍 and send it to me!

Here is an example of a pin on a map marking the Larch Valley in Sentinal Pass near Banff, Alberta where Lana and I perfected the art-sport of downhill climbing.

Previous Birthdays

As with each year prior, the goal is to collect one for every year I have lived, this year that would be 34. Over the past years I have asked for some interesting collective creation gifts for my birthday:

• 33 DIY How To’s for my 33rd Birthday
• 32 Paths (trails, hikes, directions to travel from basecamp)
• 31 Recipes You Make (ask me if you’d like to see some)
• 30 Songs That Intersect Us
• 29 Essays on Finding the Fun in Others
• 28 Handwritten Notes
• 27 Birthday Pictures
• 26 Love Letters
• 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age
• … Doodles

It takes effortful understanding. It makes me think about how others think. While internal, we often contemplate the thoughts/ideas/creations/interactions of others.

How do other people do the things that they do?

For my 33rd birthday (June 5th), I want you to share with me a how-to tutorial video showing me how you do something you do.

Submission

Please record a short video – 2-3 minutes, on your smartphone or computer – describing how to do something.

You can email the video to me privately, or post it up online on Youtube or Vimeo and send me the link on Twitter, or submit it through this handy online form: a fancy form where you can upload your file.

There are so many things that I have learned from family and friends, like ‘how to start knitting a scarf’, and ‘how to water a blooming bougainvillea’ . I’d love to have some artifacts to look back at to remember how I was told to best do these things!

Previous Birthdays

As with each year prior, the goal is to collect one for every year I have lived, this year that would be 33. Over the past years I have asked for some interesting collective creation gifts for my birthday:

• 32 Paths (trails, hikes, directions to travel from basecamp)
• 31 Recipes You Make (ask me if you’d like to see some)
• 30 Songs That Intersect Us
• 29 Essays on Finding the Fun in Others
• 28 Handwritten Notes
• 27 Birthday Pictures
• 26 Love Letters
• 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age
• … Doodles

If you are thinking to yourself: “how the heck do I film a video and then send it to you?” Reach out and I would be happy to walk you through it with a little hands-on interactive tutorial.

If you are thinking to yourself: “what the heck are you talking about? I have no frame of reference and this doesn’t make sense to me.”

Well, here is an example of my brother describing to me how to remove pomegranate seeds with one tool and no hand washing:

And, a video I made about some cures for sore throats:

This year, my 30th, I would like you to submit a song, your own or one from popular culture. I am hoping to collect 30 songs, so that I may create a double-sided birthday mixtape. Feel free to submit the Artist-Title, the lyrics, or a YouTube link. It can be a song that you wrote, that you performed, or just one that you love.

These can be songs that I introduced you to, or that you introduced me to. They can be musical, or funny, or sad, or capture something in the connection that we share. These can be songs that are long or short, maybe we listened to them together one time, or it was that song that you can never remember the name of but makes you think of me.

Imagine that we are two points floating around in space; if you were to travel from one point to the other… what song would play in our minds the middle of your journey? What song lies at the intersection of you and I?

Feel free to comment on this post, send it to me on facebook, or email me privately to submit.

Some may ask: “Kory, can I submit more than one song?”, “Thank you for asking, yes of course, but no more than three. And double points if you can tell a rich narrative with three songs.”

As a reminder looking back on past years…

• for my 29th birthday, I received many submissions of essays from 290-2900 words on “finding the fun in others”.
• 28 was all about hand-written notes.
• 27 focused on birthday pictures.
• 26 centered around love letters, both nonymous and anonymous.
• And for my 25th birthday I asked for stories from your 25th (or imagined future 25th) year.

I collected so many of these doodles, from many different individuals. It is always surprising to see what people had ready to roll once they had a pen and a blank page. It seems like everyone has a small doodle … so I ask….what’s your doodle?

This year, 2016, I have been very inspired by the ideas of Finding the Fun in Others. In May, I was invited to teach on this principle in workshops in London, England (with C3Something) and Llubjana, Slovenia (with IGLU). What a true delight it was to get to share some of the ideas I have been floating around in my head with some of the best improvisors in the world.

So, that being said, it is only fitting that I will make a request for my 29th birthday. As a reminder, it is June 5th, the 5th of June, JUNE 5, the fifth of June, the 156th day of the year in the Gregorian Calendar, Arbour Day in New Zealand and the Feast of Núr in the Bahá’í calendar (if Bahá’í Naw-Rúz falls on March 21).

The request is as follows, for my 29th birthday I want you to share with me:

A short essay of length 290 - 2900 words on the topic of Finding Fun in Others.

You can feel free to make it about improvisational theatre, about academia, about art or science, or life in general. You can make it specific or general, postulate wildly or sincerely. Tell me a horrific tale of a fun-free vacuum, or spin a heart-warming story of a land filled with fun-buns and jelly-bellys. What is fun, what are others, what does it mean to find? Feel free to semantically define it for yourself…

It is my hope that I can collect 29 of these short pieces and accumulate them in a collective creation collection. Much like I have done over the last four years. Another small piece in my larger, yearly, creative endeavour to collect, embrace, and feature the creativity around me.

As a note, feel free to add any necessary attachments, be it audio, visual, photos, supplementary writings, tree diagrams, pins on a map, that may help to clarify and expand your essays.

To deliver the present to me, you can feel free to email it to me, you can  email me for my address and then hand write it and mail it to me (as you know, I love hand written letters). You can hand deliver it to me (if you are in Edmonton, or Toronto (I will be there May 30 - June 5 (which is my birthday as a reminder))) [ How about that, triple-nested parentheses ].

Over the past four years I have asked for some exciting, collective creation style gifts for my birthday!

25th year: 25 Stories on 25 Years of Age 26th year: 26 Love Letters 27th year: 27 Birthday Pictures 28th year: 28 Handwritten Notes

Side note: If you have not seen the Transcendent Man (trailer), do yourself a favour and explore the weird and wild theories of Kurzweil himself on his quest to recreate his father from collective memory and artificial intelligence.

It seems I am not the only one to have noticed this either; recent articles in the New York Times and The Guardian share similar sentiments. It seems that the prevalence of digital communication has all but reduced the many years of teaching, training, and recitation to the scrawl-y shopping list, or brief meeting notes.

Thus, I thought that it would be fitting for my 28th year alive I would request you write a note and send it to me. I am not picky about block letters, longhand, script, joined-up writing, joint writing, running writing, or handwriting. I am not picky about the language you use, or if you sign it or want to keep it anonymous. Don’t worry about the fancy pens or paper, and don’t concern yourself with grammar and punctuation. At the very least make it legible (at least to you).

You can send it to me physically (drop me a line at korymath@gmail.com for a mailing address), OR you can take a picture of it, and comment on this post or email it to me, or post it directly on my facebook wall, or tweet it to me. You could take a video of you writing it, and post that up on Youtube.

In researching this project I have found there is so much that is gleaned just from someone’s handwriting. Vimala Rogers (graphotherapist), a  writes that “changing your handwriting can change your life” in Amazon.ca’s  #1 Best-Seller in Handwriting Analysis. There are handwriting analysts across criminology, history, law and sociology, and even people that work long and hard to copy someone else’s handwriting and signatures called forgers.

Of course, you may remember some successful past requests I have made, such as 25 Stories on 25, and 27 Birthday Pictures.  I believe that there is a beauty in the collective creativity. Like that time Caitlin Curtis and I asked for Love Letters from Amazon Mechanical Turk workers, and then built an improv show around it.

Write soon…

These idea all seem to stem from this collective creation work I have been continually fascinated by. The premise that the idea comes from me, but the content comes from the crowd.

I think these photos are particularly poignant because, in this Social Media dominated world, we are so focused on capturing the moment, that we sometimes forget that we should appreciate each moment afterwards… The process of looking back, while not something that is particularly my forte (re: memory loss in improv), is fun in and of itself.

Also, we take so many photos… I thought maybe it would be a nice opportunity to show someone who cares (me) a photo that they have taken but maybe not had the motivation/impulse/desire to share with anyone in particular yet. Maybe they had the most amazing they ever took and wanted to share that as well.

Other examples of these kind of works include:

• timmikulaisgreat.com - a secret santa gift I curated for the man himself… asking the crowd to write reasons why they thought Tim was great. This content was aggregated in a database of nearly 165 reasons Tim is great.
• thecouriers.org - a collaboration with amazing Winnipeg Artist Caitlin Curtis… we used Amazon Turk to collect lost love letters. One day we will improvise on lost love letters, finally bringing some finality to their purgatory-like existence.

I would love a story from you. If you are older than 25 years of age, I would love a story of your life when you were 25, if you are younger than 25, I would love a story of what you want your life to be like when you are 25.

Special Note: If, in the unlikely event, you ARE 25 years of age: First, congratulations, isn’t it the best. Secondly, it would be wonderful if you told me a story that started with “The Greatest Part of Being 25 is…”

The story could be in any format. It may be a short story, or a poem. It could be a voice mail, or an email, or a facebook message or a tweet. But, no matter what form, all I want is a story. No need to buy a present, or guess at what would make me smile. A tale of your life is what I would love the most.

If I could collect 25 Stories of Age 25, from my friends and loved ones, I would be the most pleased. So, I ask you, what is your story?